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How To Taper When You Don't Want To


How To Taper When You Don't Want To

Step 1: pick a really ambitious goal to run.

Step 2: reach absurd levels of stoke about this run.

Step 3: train your ass off every free moment that you have and give up all your other hobbies.

Step 4: in the last few weeks before race day stress about training and tapering.

Step 5: since you can't run (because you're tapering) go back to the hobbies you gave up to train for (see step 3). The more dangerous the better.

Step 6: engage in dangerous activities and mildly injure yourself. 

Step 7: go to the emergancy room because it's probably broken.

Step 8: xrays later be thankful you have strong runner feet and only sustained a deep bone bruise a week before race day.

Step 9: engage in competitive crutching.

Step 10: sit around and do nothing because you can't weight your foot. (hey look! now you are physically forced to rest and taper.) Tada!